Scaredy Cat – Day 10

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In case you are wondering, yes the title is dedicated to me  L . Trust me I don’t know why but I’m such a scaredy cat. I hate to admit it, even to myself. More than half my time is spent either being scared or worrying. It’s no wonder that my hair has already started to grey. I have often tried to make sense of my fears but in most cases have not been able to. The only thing that I have figured out is I’m very scared or shall I say terrified of failing. If that means I will not try to do something, so be it.  When will I realize that not trying to do something is as good as failing? But somehow my brain does not seem to process that.

I have been taking steps on overcoming some of my fears. It’s a sense of freedom when I do it. Makes me realize I am stronger than my fear and that feeling is so powerful. You know I am kind of a weird person. I usually don’t do anything unless I am pushed. When you push me into doing something, my first reaction is to stress and when I realize there is no coming out of it then I start to motivate myself into doing it. Somehow in my case self-motivation does help. In fact no one motivates me better than myself. (I have years of experience on that one 🙂 .) But once I get into it there is usually no looking back. When I get my hands on it my confidence increases and the weight of the fear lifts somewhat from my shoulders. Of course that does not mean all my fears vanish in thin air, but they do get better with time. It’s just that I need to be focused on it.

Even though I have been able to work on some of my inner fears but what still scares me and no amount of self-motivation works is my fear of bugs. I’m terrified petrified and all kinds of fied where bugs are concerned. Anything that flies pretty much has me jumping like a silly monkey. I’m sorry if you think I am scared of only flying creatures; spiders, lizards, mice, any of these things can make me shriek, yell for help, jump, or cry, depending upon their proximity to me. Some time back while hubby and I were having this serious conversation whether to settle here in the US or go back to India, we were jotting down notes on the pros and cons, and in mine I had ‘no worries about pests’ in the pro list for here 😀 .

These days my daughter wants a pet. I give her a lot of excuses as to why we can’t have a pet but only I know the actual reason 😉 . No prize for guessing that it’s me who’s scared of cats and dogs too. Why didn’t my parents buy me a kitty or a puppy ?? Then probably I would have one less fear to overcome .So basically to add to my previous list of  bugs and household pests, I also include harmless animals.  In school I remember we would sing this song very often. I don’t quite remember the lines exactly but it goes somewhat like : “All things bright and beautiful; all creatures big and small; all things bright and wonderful; the Lord God made them all.” Apparently I didn’t learn much from the song.

Tell me, are you guys scared of anything at all, or is it just me??

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4 thoughts on “Scaredy Cat – Day 10

  1. I’m scared of new things too, actually anxious is a more appropriate word. And I have to push myself to do a lot of things. Though once I do it, I wonder why I spent so much time worrying and stressing over it.

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