Monthly Archives: July 2014

Being A Better Parent

Do you feel guilty for snapping at your child just because you are in a hurry/stressed/running late/too much workload/or any other reason for that matter ?? I have fallen in a vicious cycle or so it seems. I yell – feel guilty – try to behave for a couple of days – something or the other is in my mind (again) when Daughter does something and I Yell again – the cycle continues.

Often these days I take a lesson from my Daughter. Like today when we were playing together. I was pretending to be a little girl and she was supposed to be my big sister. The game was thought up by her. But while playing I deliberately didn’t follow her instructions. She kept explaining it to me and I kept ignoring. After it went on for some time, she came to me. Held my face in her hands so that I would look at her and calmly stated, ” Mommy, remember how you like me to listen when you give me assignments. I would appreciate if you would listen to me too.” She was poised, calm and articulate. I just stared at her wondering why I couldn’t be as calm when she didn’t listen.

Few days back, we were having a mommy-daughter time cuddling and acting crazy on the living room floor. After sometime we were tired and she lay on my hand. We were pretending to watch stars on the ceiling 🙂 . I asked her if she was having fun, and she silently nodded. Then she went on to tell me that she loved it when I was happy and not mad at her. I told her gently that she is a good girl and I’am not always mad at her. I also apologized for being impatient at times and told her I’am working towards being more patient. Once again what she said next showed me what a sensitive child she is. She simply said,” mommy I know you are trying. I also know that you are often busy but I’am just a little kid. Sometimes I don’t understand if you just tell me stuffs once. Please don’t be mad or irritated when there are toys all over. Remember I don’t do it on purpose, I just forget. I love you and I don’t want to do things to upset you.” I really wanted to cry that moment. At how mature she sounded. I just hugged her.

I also thought hard that day. I questioned my reactions on a number of occasions. And in the end I was pretty ashamed of how I was dealing with things. I honestly felt that sometimes I’am setting a bad example. What am I teaching her subconsciously ?? That if you are stressed for whatever reason then it’s fine to bite other peoples head…..that it’s fine to snap and snarl at your near and dear ones…. Is that how I want her to deal with stress when she grows up….And in all honesty I have a pretty perfect life. There is really no big stresses apart from the normal ups and downs. While I really don’t want to give my Daughter the impression that life is one big fairytale, I also don’t want her to grow up before its time. Because contrary to what we think, they are pretty receptive towards our moods. They pick up the general vibes pretty easily.

And the other things about me that I’am so irritated are – **why am I in a constant hurry?? **Why do I need to have things in their rightful place all the time?? **Why do I need to plan every minute detail and why does all plans have to have a plan B?? **Why does not having a plan freak me out so much?? **Why am I becoming such a control freak?? After all I am not running a marathon. I have decided to be easy on myself and on others around me. So I made a promise to myself that I would be more patient and try to control my emotions. I’ll take each day at a time.

I am in the second week of the new me. So far so good 🙂 . Let’s see how long I’am able to be true to my promise. I like the way I’am dealing with things. There are also less arguments or tiffs with the hubby. In all the house is a happy place.

Happy Birthday To Me !!!

So yesterday was the big day. It was my birthday and no I’am not telling how old I’am. From the time I was little or as far as I can remember birthdays, be it mine or of a loved ones, are very special to me. I love the extra attention and being pampered. I love getting phone calls from all the near and dear ones. I love the sound of my buzzing phone just as the clock strikes midnight. I love the candles, the cake, the cards and the flowers.

This year was no different. The hubby and the Daughter made sure that I have a great day. They really went to a great length to make me feel special and so loved. They had been making secret plans for some days. It’s really cute to watch the father-daughter duo whispering in each other’s ears whenever they I think I’am not around 🙂 . I knew once again they were planning to bake a cake just like last time. These two are really getting better at it.

This year I had specifically asked hubby not to get me any gifts. With the constant shopping spree for the new house,I really didn’t want any big gifts. He still got me flowers 🙂 . And the other thing is we are going to Toronto for the weekend, to see the Niagara Falls from the Canada side. Also two of my most favorite uncles and their wives are coming to Toronto this weekend for business. Seeing them is going to be an added boon. That in itself is the best birthday gift I can get.

Anyway before I digress further let me come back to my day. Since it was in the middle of the week, nothing much could be done apart from going out for dinner. Initially we had planned to cut the cake after hubby was done with his work but later realized Daughter has gymnastics on Wednesday evenings. Yesterday was also going to be her first trial class for the next level. Normally the next level starts with 6 year olds. But they thought she was ready to go to the next level even though she is still 5. She really had fun with the older kids. Of course this level requires building skills, so it’s going to be a little challenging as well. But her instructor was full of praises.

After her class, we went on a drive. Came back and cut the cake. Had some yummy Thai takeout for dinner. All in all it was happy day with my two love bugs. At bedtime we took Daughter to bed with us which is becoming a rare privilege these days. She cuddled up to me and slobbered my face with kisses. After I showered her with some extra kisses, she held my face and said, “mommy happy birthday again…..you are the best mommy in the whole wide world and ours is the happiest home ever.” I was turned into mush. It was a perfect way to end the day. Like always I said a silent prayer before falling asleep and thanked the heavens for life’s simple pleasures.

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A Little Effort

I think I’am starting to have a fetish for homemade treats. Especially when it comes to indulging Daughter. As I have mentioned before she is a very fussy eater. So much so that many of my friends who claimed that their children were way too fussy, now consider themselves lucky after seeing my Daughter. I have absolute zero trouble with her in almost everything but eating.

Trust me I have done everything. Tried to feed her with the idiot box on. Didn’t work. Switched it off thinking she would eat just to have it back on. That didn’t work either. But that was when she was little. Thought she would improve after starting her preschool. Probably eating with other kids would help. O No!!! Not my girl. As far as eating was concerned she didn’t care. Ice creams, cookies, candies, pizza…..she didn’t really care for anything much.

I read articles and followed all the ‘gyan’ that I laid my hands on. I bought all the fancy tableware I found. I tried to make the food look real pretty. Made flower/heart/u-name-it-I-made-it shaped mini sandwiches. But nothing really worked. Each time I took the extra effort and made something special, I was met with a girl who would say, ‘I like it mommy, but I don’t want anymore’. Mind you this would come right after the very first bite. Lunch/dinner time often felt like a battleground in our homes.

There came a point where her pediatrician was worried about her weight gain cause she didn’t gain any unlike her mom 😦 . But at each time her pediatrician reminded me that at least unlike other kids she didn’t stuff herself with junk. So in a strange way I was supposed to be lucky.

Most kids I know, love to eat out but that was not the case in our household till sometime back. Even now she prefers eating at home any day over restaurants. But at least now she tries. I have accepted that she is not a foodie and I’am fine. Infact I know in the long run that’s better. These days I don’t have to struggle with the fruits. Granted she has only banana and a rare slice of apple or melon. But I’am happy she eats a fruit daily.

I have also noticed she is intrinsically a healthy eater. She prefers tofu over paneer. She would much rather have freshly made juice over any store bought. She simply refuses pop. Not that we ever encourage her. But on occasions when she is offered a fruit punch or pop in a bday party she politely refuses. Someone once told me, she is a model kid. Where everyone is constantly monitoring their kids junk food intake, I have absolutely no concerns. So these days I’am trying to be easy. As long as she is healthy, I’am fine with how little she eats.

These days with summer at full bloom I’am trying to experiment and explore a little further. Now days instead of yelling or forcing her to eat something that she doesn’t like, I try to present her in a way I know she would like. Another thing that, in my experience has worked is setting up an example. When she sees us having fruits or anything for that matter, she is more open to trying it. Just preaching doesn’t get the desired result always.

Today for example was a hot day here and she wanted to go out for a milkshake. Instead of giving in or getting in for a major drama, I decided to rope her in my plans. I told her we would make a homemade strawberry milkshake for her and for us she could help in making a melon cooler. She was excited and game for it.

The result was all of us were happy. She loved her milkshake. I don’t have a problem with these indulgences since they are a win-win situation for us. This way I’am at least able to control everything that goes in the shake.

Even for us, I have noticed making stuffs at home from scratch gives me a high. The biggest satisfaction is I know what is in there. I just need to remember that the next time I want to order or go out for lunch/dinner 🙂 .

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Strawberry Milkshake (right) and the Melon Cooler(left) 🙂

Furniture Shopping

What a productive last few days we had. Just when we were giving up on deciding a sofa for the living room, we selected one. I had seen a sofa online a few months back which I had liked a lot. It was from Ashley Furniture. But the problem was the price was not given in the website. We didn’t want to go down there as it was a 50 mile one way trip. So unnecessarily hubby didn’t want to make a trip which could very well be a waste.

Saturday, we were at the mall shopping for my Bday clothes. Yes !!! I’am going to be another year older if not wiser this Wednesday 🙂 . Was really not liking anything much. So after a lot of looking I selected two tops for myself and a few for Daughter. I had already dismissed it as a bad shopping day. We were walking out of Macys and decided to look at some more stores. Just then Daughter announced she was hungry. We decided to come back later to the mall later after lunch. As we were walking outside the store, I asked her if she could wait for a few minutes so that we could take a quick look at the Macys furniture place. She agreed.

We walked in the store not really hoping to find anything. We were checking out some sofas when I spotted the beautiful formal dining set. It is a very simple, stylish, sleek, contemporary piece. In other words everything that we were looking for. For me I didn’t need to look anymore. It was not only everything I was looking for but much more.

To say both hubby and Daughter approved of my choice would be an understatement. They loved it. The sales person was busy with some other customer and we needed to check the price and also needed to know whether they could hold it till September. But for all that, we needed time and Daughter was super hungry. But she agreed to wait, if I let her use my iphone to play. Shamelessly I did. What can I say…. Desperate need calls for desperate measures :p .

While the person was attending the other customer, hubby and I checked all the measurements and specifications. So by the time he came to us we had already made up our mind. We asked him everything and in a few minutes sealed the deal. The icing on the cake was the set was originally listed at $2100 and we got it for $1000. Needless to say we were over the moon with this unbelievable deal.

To celebrate our shopping success we decided to go to our favorite Chinese Buffet. Going to a buffet when you are super hungry is probably not the best idea if you want to watch your weight. Anyway after a full meal of appetizers, main course and dessert, the last thing we wanted to do was come home and sleep. So I suggested hubby that why don’t we check out Ashley. Strangely this time he was game for it. Probably too much food made him lazy to argue 😉 .

It took us around 45 mins to drive down there. After the initial talk to the salesperson, he led us to where the more contemporary sofas were. We were happy that we drove there because not only was the service great but also we could see some furniture we liked. Again while Daughter and hubby were checking out some stuffs, I spotted the sofa that I had fallen in love with sometime back. It sat there more beautiful than the picture I had seen online. Once again they loved my choice. Again we got a decent deal. In no time I found us signing the paperwork.

It feels so good to finally get what we wanted. The best part of these furnitures are that they reflect our personal style so much. We love contemporary style as opposed to traditional. And that’s exactly what we got. There is still a lot to be done and a lot of stuffs still sit unchecked in the buying list. But I know everything will be done in good time. We just need to enjoy the journey.

Now I can’t wait to move in the new house and start making it our home.
I can’t wait to start building new memories with my two precious love bugs. As we are seeing it getting almost close to the finish line, we are getting so excited. I really can’t believe we are going to live in our very first own home.

Bad Day

There are days when you feel the whole world is conspiring against you. Today was such a day for me. No matter how hard I tried but something or the other was there waiting stealthily to get me. These days I have been stressed over a lot of issues and having these kind of days don’t help. I tried coming out of it and on a number of occasions I felt successful but in the end the stress won over me.

The biggest problem in our home is that everything revolves around my mood. If I’am happy and chirpy, the hubby and Daughter are also happy but the days when I’am down it seems someone has sucked out the energy out of our home. I often feel it’s not fair. The responsibility sometimes gets to me. I’am entitled to have off days too. But looking at their faces I feel guilty. Whenever I talk to my mum about it, she tells me I’am lucky that they care for me so much. But honestly on days like today I don’t feel lucky, I just feel it’s a huge responsibility. Some days I just want to be left alone.

Daughter is now at an age where she can very well sense my mood. She tries to make me happy and after every two minutes will look up to me and say ” mommy smile”. I have often told her that it’s all right for mommy to not be super happy all the time but I guess that’s asking too much from a 5 year old who is so used to her mommy clowning around. More often than not it is she who pulls me out of these moods but then again some days, it gets from bad to worse.

I honestly don’t know whether I overreacted today or would I really have felt bad even if I wasn’t already stressed. No prize for guessing with whom I’am upset. Yes!! It is the hubby. I honestly don’t know how he has the power of still making me behave like a foolish teenager with love struck eyes. We have been married for more than a decade, for god’s sake. You would think I would be a little more mature than this. Atleast I can pretend to be one and not show him how little things still hurt me. I don’t react how I used to especially since having Daughter and these days I often don’t tell him what really is bothering me but being married to your best friend has some disadvantages, I guess. 8 out of 10 times, he guesses them right.

Like today, I know whatever happened he didn’t mean to atleast not to hurt me. Yet I’am hurt and sulking. When he comes to talk to me, I refuse to talk. Yet when he goes away I silently will him to come back. If only he would hug me, I say to myself. I don’t want to sleep without making up.

Jinxed, or not !!!

Well last week I jinxed my happiness by being too excited about the trip to our friend’s house. But as somethings are meant to be, in our case not going was meant to be 😦 . Something unavoidable came up and we had to cancel going the night before we were supposed to leave. Needless to say we were all very disappointed. At one point I was on the phone with my friend and both the girls ( my Daughter and theirs ) were crying buckets and then some. We had to promise the girls that we would meet soon and make up for lost time. In addition, I had to promise Daughter of a fun time at home to calm her down.

Remember I had told that I would cook and take some Indo-Chinese food there. Well the chicken and the prawn sat marinated staring at me whenever I opened the fridge. So I knew, I had little choice but make it. By the time I was done making all the dishes, I had enough food to feed an army. Luckily I didn’t have to cook the entire weekend.

I had promised Daughter that she would have a fun time and I knew I was going to make sure she had one . Luckily we had our local Arts and Heritage Festival going on during that time. So we went there on the 4th(Friday). We all had an awesome time there. There is a decent kids activity area there with crafts, face painting, story time, bird shows and petting zoo to name a few. Daughter took her time exploring each. She also had a treat of Dipping Dots, which she absolutely loves. Each time we wanted to get out of the Kids Area, Daughter’s happy face did the trick and we stayed back some more 🙂 . After she had had enough of the fun there, we decided to spend some time in the main area. There was a lot of good food stalls and also a live band playing some great country music.

It was a beautiful day to be out. Trust me even in our neck of the woods, July can get really hot and humid and this year Daughter had a light jacket on. This festival happens in a park by a lake. We have been going there for the last 3 years and each year I came back home with a sun allergy. This year the gods were pretty merciful towards me 🙂 with temperature in the upper 60s and a constant balmy wind. If someone asked me about the perfect weather, this would be it.

Remaining weekend was a relaxing one with nothing much going on but a lot of quality time spent together as a family. We watched a lot of soccer. These days Daughter has also become an avid soccer fan. Her favorite team being Argentina and favorite player…..who else but Messi 🙂 .

The highlight of the weekend was that Daughter fixed a brunch for us. It was a simple egg salad sandwich. I just boiled and peeled the eggs and the rest she managed pretty well. It was simply yummylicious. She was pretty proud of herself. As for us we were amazed that how quickly time is flying. Wasn’t it just yesterday we used to feed her baby food?? Why is my little girl growing up sooo fast 😦

Even though we had a disappointing start with the trip being cancelled and all but in the end we had a good time. It’s already Wednesday night here. So two more days to go until another weekend.

Fun And Friends

Today has been one busy day. From laundry to cooking I have done it all. The coming weekend being a long one, we have decided to visit a friend’s house. Hence the sudden urgency in getting everything done. I do not like coming back to a messy house and a full laundry basket. So much so that these days just before we leave home for anywhere Daughter makes sure that none of her toys are lying around the floor because in her words ‘toys on the floor drives mommy crazy’. Our friends live around 6 hours drive from our place. So we will start on Thursday by 3 and hopefully reach there by 9 at night. We are really looking forward to it as they are a very good friend of ours.

It’s funny how some relations progress. Let’s call the couple S and I. S was two years senior to my hubby in his engineering college and they were very good friends. I had forever heard about him but never had a chance to meet him (except on our wedding reception). Even though we were all in the US but somehow didn’t get a chance to meet until three years back.

We had invited them to our place for Daughter’s 3rd birthday. Their daughter is just six months older than ours. From then on there was no looking back. Now they also have a baby boy whom we absolutely adore. Of course my relation with I calls for a post itself. We have become the best of friends. We discus almost everything. So all in all these are the perfect weekend getaways where all of us are so relaxed and just look forward to spending time together. Each of us have the perfect company.

Now days me and I talk more on the phone than my hubby and S. We are constantly texting or watsapping each other. She is a real fun person to be with. Daughter is also very excited that she gets to meet and play with her friend for two whole days and also play ‘big sister’ to the little toddler. It’s going to be one happy and enjoyable weekend. All ready we have planned a lot of activities for the kids. Aren’t these sort of gatherings the best where everyone has their own companion. Having good friends is one of life’s biggest blessings.

Tomorrow I need to pack everything. This time I have decided to ask Daughter to pack her own stuff. Let’s see how she does on that one. I have also told I not to bother about Thursday night’s dinner as I plan to cook and take it there. I has often told me that she loves and craves Indo-Chinese food which is an absolute favorite at our home too. It is also one of my specialities. So I plan to cook Mixed Fried Rice, Chilli Chicken and Garlic Prawn and then pack it in our big ice box. I hope they like it.

So two more days to go until the long weekend. It’s just Tuesday night and I’am so ready for the work week to be over. Hope you guys have a good week and a better weekend. See you next week.