You know when I didn’t have Daughter, I was targeted a lot with ‘are you pregnant’, ‘so when will be hear the good news’ , ‘why are you not having a baby if you are not working’, ‘you should check with your obgyn and see if everything is ok’, ‘unless you are a mom you can’t understand these things’. I have really faced a lot of such intrusive questions especially because Daughter came in our life after 7 years of marriage. While most of the time I dealt with it with a smile pasted on my face, there were times I wanted to scream ‘ it’s none of your damn business’. Mind you apart from the regular aunty types who would ask these questions because they pretty much have nothing better to do, there were also girls of my age. These were the so called urban, modern, educated ladies. It would really shock me at times that how people can be so intrusive and can insinuate a lot of unpleasant things without having the faintest clue. And yes this was also a time I was struggling with my PCOS and so such questions were not only not welcome but also impacted me emotionally.
Anyway after having Daughter, one of the many reasons I was glad was because the questions would hopefully end. And it did. At least for the first few years. Seriously why do people think that everything is their business and can interfere in anything they wish just because they fall into your friend/acquaintance category. Even though the questions have changed but they are very much there. Now a days they are more like, ‘aawe look at your Daughter, she seems so lonely’ or ‘having two kids are a must’ or ‘you know single children have trouble adjusting later’ or ‘when you see both your children play together, that’s the best thing ever’ or ‘she is an avid reader just because she doesn’t have anybody to play’.
I mean seriously !! While there can be truth in some and I get it about someone to play with and those lines, don’t tell me she reads because she doesn’t have anyone to play with. And while I agree to a lot of things but I still think
people friends should respect privacy. They should understand what are the things you want to discuss and what you want to keep out of bounds !! But sadly very few people get it. And trust me the decision of ‘having babies’ is like everyone’s business but the couple in concern.
Yes I have been getting a lot of misplaced concern and it’s bugging me to no end. I really want to scream and tell these people, not everyone is as lucky and I would if only I could. Our decision of not trying for a second child is not open for voting !! And lastly, it doesn’t reflect our selfishness and is in no way related to our love or lack of it towards Daughter.
Phew !! I feel so much better after saying these aloud.