Conjoined at the hip for the last 17 years !! Yes that’s how the hubby and I are described. We have almost always been together. Luckily his last job didn’t require a lot of travel. And to top it off he’s been working from home a lot these past two years. So everything was perfect in our small world. While I heard a lot of complaints from friends whose husbands work from home, I loved it. Yes there were moments when I needed the space but all in all the arrangement worked great for us.
Even though he was always at his desk in his office, I would sit by on the chaise next to him and drink coffee without really talking. There were moments when I could just go and hug him. So when he landed his dream job, we knew things would not be the same. Actually saying ‘not be the same’ is underrating it…. let’s say things would change drastically!!
From early on we had decided that he would move first because we didn’t want Daughter to move in the middle of the year. And I also wanted to sell this house before we made the final move in summer. While planning about the stuff and taking the responsibilities I was all for it, but living it is a different ball game all together.
It’s just been 5 days since he’s left and Daughter and I are also visiting him next week but I still feel like it’s been an eternity. I miss him constantly and I’ve been dreading the weekend. The only good part is that Daughter will be home. The next two months are going to be extremely difficult.
Tomorrow I’ve planned on taking Daughter out to the mall. I’ll spend some time spoiling her with some shopping. She loves Justice and Claire’s. So that’s where we will be heading. And then we’ll go to lunch. Because this not-so-little Daddy’s Princess is not used to being without her daddy either. And I must say she’s being a trooper. It’s amazing how much responsible she’s become just because she knows that I’m by myself. I couldn’t be more proud!!
So on that happy note I’ll sign off. Hope you guys have a good weekend!!
Daughter amazes me at the most unexpected times. So yesterday a lot of you probably read about our fight. She had a party in the evening and I was miserable at home. The hubby had talked some sense in me and I was waiting for her to return so that we could make peace. The hubby went to pick her up in due time and I waited patiently rehearsing my lines. I knew I had crossed a few mommy lines and I was looking forward to make amends.
Soon I heard the garage door open and hubby’s car whizzed in. I could hear her cheerful banter telling the hubby all about the party. Then they entered and she peeked in to have a glimpse of me. The moment she saw me, she gave me a big smile. That was enough to melt my heart. Next few minutes we apologized to each other and cleared the air. Everything was perfect in my little world again.
Then the hubby looked at me and said, “she’s super hungry. Why don’t you ask her why she didn’t eat anything?” I could have died at that moment. I automatically thought she was upset because of our fight and didn’t eat. I think in this split second the hubby could see the wheels of my brain turning. He quickly looked at Daughter and said, “tell mommy”. Daughter looked at me and said, “Soph and Issy are allergic to gluten and dairy. So they couldn’t eat anything and there was just pizza and cupcakes. They were sad and I felt bad for them, I decided not to eat so that they wouldn’t feel like they were the only ones who couldn’t eat. I told them I wasn’t hungry and they were so relieved that I could sit with them.” [Now if you’re wondering, Soph and Issy are two sisters and they stay in our neighborhood. Now I have no clue why some gluten and dairy free snacks were not provided since all of us know of their allergies but that’s a post for a different day.]
I looked at hubby and I could see the pride in his eyes. At that moment I also knew we must be doing somethings right. When I was 9 I don’t think I would have given up my favorite foods. But I was so proud of her for being so considerate. I just hope she continues being her kind and considerate self. Rest we’ll deal with one thing at a time.
Miserable!! That’s exactly how I feel right now. The Daughter and I’ve been fighting on a loop since morning. This girl is growing up too fast for my liking and I’m probably not handling it good. I’m pushing all the wrong buttons and playing out the ‘mom card’ too much for my own good. I hate it and I know she hates me for it.
She’s currently at a bday party and hubby talked to me on dealing with theses things differently. No wonder he’s Daughter’s go to person. That’s another thing that’s bugging me… since when did I become her enemy?? So much so that today before leaving for the bday party she didn’t tell me bye and also made her own hair. After they left, I cried for a long time. When did she grow up so much ?? I don’t think I’m ready yet !!
Daughter has to finish and submit a project tomorrow. I needed to do laundry and was cooped up in our bedroom. So Daughter and the hubby who was helping her finish, came and spread their work on the floor. Now that I’m done with my work, I’ll go and help them wrap up.
So many of you wanted to read a piece of Daughter’s writing. This is a writing she wrote for a graded work at school. They were asked to watch a program on tv where for the first half the audio would be off and the second half they would just hear and not see. Then they had to write on the experience and not the show.
For a 9 year old, I thought she showed clarity in thought and her writing was matured. Of course I’m a biased mom. Hope you guys enjoy reading this.
Mimi Tv Experience Paper – By E.B.
I watched a show for half an hour with 15 minutes of not-using my vision and the next15 minutes of not using my hearing. It was strange not being able to use all my senses. In those short minutes, I realized the anguish and helplessness of not having all my senses. I was restless just experiencing it. Now imagine not being able to see your hands in front of your eyes. Shouting, but not knowing it. In the first few minutes of starting this project, I realized how lucky Iam. Not everyone can take these little things for granted.
Being deaf is hard. I turned the volume full way down. I watched, trying to make out emotions by watching faces and actions. I could not make out a word by looking at people’s lips. I pressed my ear to the speaker but couldn’t hear. Just like a deaf person, no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t hear. To me, being deaf is like falling through empty space. No matter how hard you try you can’t stop. There might have been a million things you could have done on solid ground, you could have stopped your fall. Too late, just air below. Imagine never hearing the pitter-patter of the raindrops on your window or sounds of a thunderstorm. Or birds tweeting in the morning. Never knowing the sounds of waves crashing. I wouldn’t be able to hear my own piano playing. I can’t even imagine never hearing the voice of my parents. I was so glad when the time was up and I could turn up the volume again. It’s so unfair that some will never get that chance that I’m blessed with. It makes no difference no matter how used to it you are. It’s hard.
Aaahh !!! Where did the world go ? Many must feel ! Aaahh !! Where did the movie I was watching go ?? I thought when I flipped my tablet over to cover the screen. I relied on hearing to understand the turn of events. But I missed seeing the emotions that accompanies the voice. It’s difficult to hear the happiness and not see the beautiful smile. I heard a car but couldn’t see the make or color. That’s when I thought people who are born blind don’t even know what a car looks like. No one should go through this, it’s worse than being deaf was my first thought. I could see other things though. Those who are blind only see blackness, or whiteness, maybe just light. But not the purple walls of my room. Just the emptiness where the world in your eyes should stand. No one deserves this, I thought as I turned around my tablet to reveal what many will never see.
Everything made me think, poor Hellen Keller !! Freedom never felt better !! It’s sad !! So many people are deaf, or blind, or both !! The world to them is a blank page. No one can do anything about it. Just doing this project made me realize how lucky I am !!
Couple of months back, we had Daughter’s parent-teacher-conference. After going through the regular stuff about progress, extra credits, behavior, etc, etc, we could feel that her teacher(Mrs.C) was hesitating. Me being me quickly sensed it and asked her if we needed to worry about something and she could tell us anything that she thought we needed to work on harder.
To this she smiled and said of course she wants us to work on it but not in the way we were thinking. She said Daughter is a gifted writer. Mrs. C said how she enjoys reading her writing and always reads her writings to her husband and her mom. She also said that often sends Daughter’s daily class writings to the principal and other staff members. And they all can’t believe how a 9 year old writes the way she does.
After a point into this conversation, I started to feel my cheeks going warm at all the adjectives being used. Mrs. C understood my feelings and said in case I thought she was being biased she would tell me a little incident. It seems their class was asked to do a writing on ‘Thank-you Hero’ for the army veterans for their school Veteran’s Day program. Mrs. C told us that reading that particular writing she not only had goosebumps but tears running down her cheeks. Several teachers had those exact same reactions after reading that writing. Her exact words were, “if this little girl has the power to write like this now, I can’t wait to read her writings when she’s a little older. She not only has the most extensive vocabulary but a depth and clarity is thought that we adults often struggle with.”
The hubby and I have often had this wonder struck feeling after reading a random writing of hers. She loves to write and does a lot of scribbling. But we let it go because quite honestly both of us haven’t read writings by other little ones. So we think our opinion is biased. But that day having our feelings validated felt really good. It was a real proud moment for both the hubby and I. I only hope she continues to write more and more.
At last we got our well deserved snow day today. Yesterday evening Daughter was just about finishing her homework when we got the call that school is canceled for today. And of course she started jumping with joy. It’s weird how she hates staying back when sick but a sudden call from school declaring a holiday puts her in a party mood.
In no time she started getting messages from neighborhood friends about play dates. And in such matters hardly a minute is wasted in making prompt decisions. Of course me being the mean mommy made it clear in no uncertain words that all playing were to happen only after study time. She agreed and we were both happy.
So today morning without being prompted she sat with her books and did some studying right after breakfast. I treated her and the hubby with some yummy paneer paranthas for lunch. And now she’s off to her friend’s house. And I’m debating whether to take a nap or do some work. But I guess the work can be tackled after a little nap. Better idea is let me start the laundry and then take that needed nap 😴…. Ok will talk more tomorrow… And those affected by this storm, stay safe, stay warm.
To My Darling Daughter,
No today is not your birthday but here I am writing a letter to you. Why, you wonder !! Today morning in that moment when you were holding back that single drop of tear, millions of emotions raged in me. In the that moment when you were denying that you were crying, for the first time I was at a loss. I didn’t know what to say except kiss you and hug you. And I really want to apologize because mommy needs to do better than that!!
I know 3rd grade has been a little tough for you emotionally. From getting bullied in the bus to your very close friend being friends with the bullies and teaming up against you. I know it’s been rough. As a mum it’s my job to say all the right things that sometimes sound so lame. But honey, I want you to truly believe that I understand. While I tell you to stand up for yourself or ignore depending on what the situation demands, I wish I could actually tell you to slap that kid and I’ll deal with the consequences later. But I hold back.
You are a very sweet kid. I often complain about how quickly you are growing up there are often times Daddy and I feel in comparison to your peers or fellow 9/10 year olds, you are still very innocent. I see kids who are a lot more street smart. Often during such times I get so scared. I feel even now when your peers are still in the very-much-kid-category age, often they are manipulative and take your niceness for granted. So many tell me, you’ll change with age and others close to us tell me that such niceness is an asset and I shouldn’t worry. But my mommy mind worries. Sometimes I honestly wish you weren’t so nice. I wish you were not afraid of confrontations. I wish you could give back a taste of their medicine. But you are too kind.
You hate fights !! You hate screaming and bickering. You are generally a calm and peaceful person. You get really upset when people around you are sad, sick or distressed. While I know your exceptionally sweet and helpful nature makes you the loving little girl for not only family but your teachers also adore. But sometimes, sometimes this very selfish mommy wishes you didn’t care as much about others, were a little more selfish, mean when need be. But I know that’s just me being protective mama bear. Selfish thoughts not shared by Daddy who reprimands me when I think these thoughts aloud. So often than not, I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.
Like I always tell you, wait till you grow up a little more true friendship will happen. You will find that one/few friends. You just need to trust me. But never let yourself be treated badly. Back when you were little I always said, “Treat every one like how you like being treated”. But today I want to say, “treat yourself how you treat others and never settle for anything less”. And that my dear is something you have to learn.
And no matter how old you get you don’t need to hide those tears from us. Crying does not mean you’re weak.
Love you to pieces sweetie pie !!
Daughter’s recent obsession is making soaps. Once again this kit was a Christmas gift. A huge hit at that !! Needless to say it’s become her current pass-time/obsession/hobby.
Both me and my hubby were generously gifted cinnamon-honey-vanilla scented soaps. The best part is you can use stuff from the kitchen to make soaps at home. It doesn’t really ask/need much adult supervision except using the microwave.
Do you spot the smiley face 😀 ??
Summer holidays are in full swing here. I can’t believe I’m a mom of a super independent 3rd grader. Now I’ve always been one of those mums who was never in a hurry to fast forward the toddler years or the whiney phases. I always held those precious days to my heart. I lived in the moment and enjoyed every stage, pleasant or not. And if I’m honest, for most part it was a pretty smooth ride. Now that I see her growing up and becoming increasingly independent, I get emotional. While my heart swells with pride sometimes but then there are times I wish she was still my baby. But that’s a post for a different time :).
Already we are in the 3rd week of summer vacation and we are busy doing fun things while trying not to ignore our basic routine. The routine that I hold on to for dear life. The routine that keeps me sane. Daughter has planned her day pretty well. She has very wisely decided to do her daily studies in the morning straight after breakfast which is often followed by piano practice. Once those two are done, she has the whole day to play, bike, visit neighborhood friends and last but definitely not the least reading. She is still allowed to watch tv only on the weekends. So far things have things have been pretty smooth. Fingers crossed 🤞!! Unlike some kids I hear of, Daughter pretty much entertains herself with pretend play and books for most of her time.
Friday we also leave for our week long vacation to the beach. So lots of fun coming our way. It’s going to be a much needed break for the hubby and me. Of course our friends from Indiana are also joining us. And what better way to unwind than to sip margaritas at the beach while the kids makes sandcastles and chase the waves. Can’t wait for the fun in the sun to begin !!
As I type I’m sitting outside her piano class and can’t believe how much she has progressed since she started about 2 months back. And the best part is she enjoys playing the piano and performing for us. I must say the decision to learn piano was more me than anyone else. Daughter is generally game to explore new stuff and try different things. But I told her this was something I really wanted her to learn. It’s something I always wanted but never quite got around doing it. And I’m so glad I ‘imposed’ this on her because she seems to be quite a natural.
Yeah once again I’m here with a mish mash of jumbled stuff. That’s exactly what happens when you’re gone for a bit. There are so many things I want to document that deserves a full post but I never quite get doing them. Every time I sit to write, somehow I get carried away with the current thoughts of daily life and those that are crying for attention gets pushed back for another day. So that’s it for today !! Talk to you soon !!