To My Darling Daughter,
No today is not your birthday but here I am writing a letter to you. Why, you wonder !! Today morning in that moment when you were holding back that single drop of tear, millions of emotions raged in me. In the that moment when you were denying that you were crying, for the first time I was at a loss. I didn’t know what to say except kiss you and hug you. And I really want to apologize because mommy needs to do better than that!!
I know 3rd grade has been a little tough for you emotionally. From getting bullied in the bus to your very close friend being friends with the bullies and teaming up against you. I know it’s been rough. As a mum it’s my job to say all the right things that sometimes sound so lame. But honey, I want you to truly believe that I understand. While I tell you to stand up for yourself or ignore depending on what the situation demands, I wish I could actually tell you to slap that kid and I’ll deal with the consequences later. But I hold back.
You are a very sweet kid. I often complain about how quickly you are growing up there are often times Daddy and I feel in comparison to your peers or fellow 9/10 year olds, you are still very innocent. I see kids who are a lot more street smart. Often during such times I get so scared. I feel even now when your peers are still in the very-much-kid-category age, often they are manipulative and take your niceness for granted. So many tell me, you’ll change with age and others close to us tell me that such niceness is an asset and I shouldn’t worry. But my mommy mind worries. Sometimes I honestly wish you weren’t so nice. I wish you were not afraid of confrontations. I wish you could give back a taste of their medicine. But you are too kind.
You hate fights !! You hate screaming and bickering. You are generally a calm and peaceful person. You get really upset when people around you are sad, sick or distressed. While I know your exceptionally sweet and helpful nature makes you the loving little girl for not only family but your teachers also adore. But sometimes, sometimes this very selfish mommy wishes you didn’t care as much about others, were a little more selfish, mean when need be. But I know that’s just me being protective mama bear. Selfish thoughts not shared by Daddy who reprimands me when I think these thoughts aloud. So often than not, I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.
Like I always tell you, wait till you grow up a little more true friendship will happen. You will find that one/few friends. You just need to trust me. But never let yourself be treated badly. Back when you were little I always said, “Treat every one like how you like being treated”. But today I want to say, “treat yourself how you treat others and never settle for anything less”. And that my dear is something you have to learn.
And no matter how old you get you don’t need to hide those tears from us. Crying does not mean you’re weak.
Love you to pieces sweetie pie !!