Category Archives: rants

Big Rant Alert – Day 62

Disclaimer: If you are an active Fb lover, pls do not read this post.

I have serious issues with Facebook !! Did I say issues ?? No wait come to think of it I don’t have ‘issues’. I just hate it !! There I’ve said it. I don’t even know why I still have the account considering the fact that I haven’t changed my    profile pic since the time fb came into existence.

 I hardly ever accept the friend requests of those ‘friends’ who went to kindergarten with me and I haven’t spoken to or seen them since. And honestly I have no interest in knowing where they live or who they married to or how they look now. I made the mistake of accepting such requests in the initial days and have learnt from it. So I really don’t care if they think I’m rude but if they aren’t important or if I have no interest then I’m sorry I’m not including them in my list.

Honestly when I see some of my friends with 500+ ‘friends’ in their list, I really wonder is there something wrong with me that I don’t have that many or is it them ?? 

Then there are those who are always posting pics and labeling them with – Feeling Blessed with XYZ or Feeling In Love with ABC or Feeling Hungry with DEF and the list goes on. I mean seriously!! Do you really think anyone is cares if you are feeling hungry or starving. And if you are truly feeling blessed or happy why are you spoiling it by going on fb. Or is your happiness directly related to the number of likes and comments you get.

Why is it that when you go to wherever that you need to post 50 pics. And I honestly hate when I have an obligation to like those pics because if truth be told I don’t care to look at those pics. I honestly would like if you just put all in one album and post it at the end of the trip. It’s better for my bp if I can just like the album without going through the whole. But no you have to start posting from the time you plan the vacation. Where does so much of narcissism come from ??!!

And what kind of people are you who go on sharing those images of kids who are going through some terrible disease. I mean if it’s for a fundraising awareness, I’m ok but most of them come with a type amen or you’ll get bad luck. And it never amazes me the number of people who fall for it or do it just for the heck. 

I won’t even talk about those selfie kings and queens. I often wonder how much they love flooding other people’s timeline with their pics. 

Then there are those who love to post when they are checking in to a posh restaurant or hotel. Or when they are going to some exotic locations for vacations. I mean have you become so shallow that you plan vacations according to your Fb status. 

I sometimes feel I can’t cope with our times because I’m different and being different is no fun. People think your life isn’t exciting since there aren’t Fb posts showing off your vacation destinations and lovely dinners that went along. Do I really read – apparently I haven’t been posting on Fb labeling Reading ______ !! 

But for the life of me I can’t make myself do those things to fit in the current state. So now that my rant is over I just need to breathe and let it go. 
Blogathon 2017 #Day18

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So not happy …. – Day 20

Happiness is in believing that tomorrow will be better…. That’s all I can think of to make myself even remotely happy after having a crappy day… 

How many times have I told myself not to get carried away making plans not being 100% sure… I have really lost count !! But each time I’m in such a situation, I feel I haven’t learnt from my mistakes… I honestly don’t know how can a person be stupid enough to repeat their mistakes not once, not twice but numerous times….  So here’s to another crappy day, all thanks to me !!

P.S. : This is far from a Happy post but honestly in the current frame of mind happiness is too far away from me.

Day 29 – Friendly Gossip Or Not

Today morning I got a message from a friend that she wanted to talk to me if I was free. So I called her thinking she wanted to talk about something important but I couldn’t be more wrong !! She wanted to discuss how one of our common friend’s husband has recently been laid off. I knew this for quite some time and was quite upset about it. I politely told her I was aware but didn’t want to talk about it. She ignored the second part of the sentence and was pretty upset why I didn’t tell her. Once again I told her it wasn’t a happy news that I would want to share with everyone. And most importantly there is nothing to talk about it. She pretended that she didn’t hear it and started to give me some juicy rubbish about the whole situation. I was honestly not interested and I’m generally very uncomfortable with such gossips, but all my protests fell on deaf ears. I cut the conversation short on the pretext of being busy.

Half an hour later, I find my Watsapp flooded with messages. I open to see and I’m extremely horrified to find one of these ladies have created a separate group since the first group has the friend whose husband has lost his job. So they are spreading the word fast. 

While I’m not close to these ladies, we have occasional potlucks and dinners. I’m in a very uncomfortable zone. I find what interests most of these ladies is of absolute no or little pleasure to me. But just for formality I become a passive listener. I hate myself for doing it.

This whole situation has left such a bad taste in my mouth because this is lowering the standard of gossip a little too low. 

Day 12 – Rant Alert Is Back !!

You know when I didn’t have Daughter, I was targeted a lot with ‘are you pregnant’, ‘so when will be hear the good news’ , ‘why are you not having a baby if you are not working’, ‘you should check with your obgyn and see if everything is ok’, ‘unless you are a mom you can’t understand these things’. I have really faced a lot of such intrusive questions especially because Daughter came in our life after 7 years of marriage. While most of the time I dealt with it with a smile pasted on my face, there were times I wanted to scream ‘ it’s none of your damn business’. Mind you apart from the regular aunty types who would ask these questions because they pretty much have nothing better to do, there were also girls of my age. These were the so called urban, modern, educated ladies. It would really shock me at times that how people can be so intrusive and can insinuate a lot of unpleasant things without having the faintest clue. And yes this was also a time I was struggling with my PCOS and so such questions were not only not welcome but also impacted me emotionally.

Anyway after having Daughter, one of the many reasons I was glad was because the questions would hopefully end. And it did. At least for the first few years. Seriously why do people think that everything is their business and can interfere in anything they wish just because they fall into your friend/acquaintance category. Even though the questions have changed but they are very much there. Now a days they are more like, ‘aawe look at your Daughter, she seems so lonely’ or ‘having two kids are a must’ or ‘you know single children have trouble adjusting later’ or ‘when you see both your children play together, that’s the best thing ever’ or ‘she is an avid reader just because she doesn’t have anybody to play’.

I mean seriously !! While there can be truth in some and I get it about someone to play with and those lines, don’t tell me she reads because she doesn’t have anyone to play with. And while I agree to a lot of things but I still think people friends should respect privacy. They should understand what are the things you want to discuss and what you want to keep out of bounds !! But sadly very few people get it. And trust me the decision of ‘having babies’ is like everyone’s business but the couple in concern.

Yes I have been getting a lot of misplaced concern and it’s bugging me to no end. I really want to scream and tell these people, not everyone is as lucky and I would if only I could. Our decision of not trying for a second child is not open for voting !! And lastly, it doesn’t reflect our selfishness and is in no way related to our love or lack of it towards Daughter.

Phew !! I feel so much better after saying these aloud.

Rant Alert !!!

Just when I think, things are almost going according to the way I planned, I’am in for a surprise. Just when I calm myself and try to look at the positive side of the change in events, a new set of change with a sprinkle of uncertainty is thrown in. I am a person who needs plans, uncertainty shifts my equilibrium. For me to function with sanity, I need to have a PLAN. I need to know what to expect next. I like adventures as long as we are on an unplanned trip. But even that’s very rare these days given our ever-increasing penchant for reviews about the destination and the hotels. I know I’am going nowhere with this post. It’s just that I’am so freaking mad and upset with the builders today.

Moving seems to be getting like a mirage. Each time we feel we are progressing nicely, we are met with a glitch. Trust me we thought we would be in the house by summer. That way Daughter would get a chance to settle in before school starts. But soon realized that’s not going to be possible. I made my peace with that too. I was soon caught up making plans and arrangements for the move with all excitement. But all hell broke loose today again.

Today afternoon we went to check on the progress of the house. We have been doing it almost regularly now and have been very happy with the progress. My doubts were just beginning to ease up regarding getting everything done before the closing which is scheduled for the 29th of this month. Hubby had been trying to get hold of our project manager since yesterday without much luck. We needed to get in touch with him regarding certain issues but kept getting his voicemail. It irritates me to no end when people don’t call back after hearing it’s urgent. Still I tried to give him the benefit of doubt until today. Today when we drove up, we saw him at the site. It was a relief to know that he had taken care of the issues. I excused the fact that he should have had the decency to let us know either by calling or a one line text. It really doesn’t take that much time when he knew we were repeatedly trying to reach him. After asking him whether we are in schedule and getting ready for closing, he announces that they are having issues with the electric company. And unless that’s resolved we can’t close. Just like that he announces, as if it was not something we needed to know but he told us anyhow. I was like, *What the hell !!* . Not only that, apparently they don’t have a clue when they can have the electric meter installed.

We told him our lease is going to end on the 31st. And that we have made all arrangements to move on the 30th. If they don’t let us know, we’ll be in a big soup. We need to let our property manager know and extend another month in the current apartment and reschedule everything. That’s going to be a lot of work and we need to do these in advance. He said he would let us know but you know what I really don’t trust him.

Right now we have two choice – 1) carry on the way it’s going and by next Wednesday, see where we stand and call the shots from there. No use stressing till then. Just hope the electricity issue gets resolved by then. OR 2) start rescheduling everything now and extend the lease right away. Call the moving company and change the dates. This would ideally be the best option but only downside is it’s also the costliest one. If luckily everything does go according to the initial plan then unnecessarily we would have to pay rent and utilities for this apartment as well. So right now I don’t want to think of 2 as an option at least not until we have to. I’am just hoping for some good news.

As it is I’am hating living with boxes around me, and these unexpected turn of events is just making things worse. I was counting on the Labor Day long weekend to move and settle in. I guess we were getting too excited with the upcoming closing that we jinxed it.

Rant – Day 22

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I’m so stressed today. Going to India is becoming like a mirage. Last year we were almost going to book our tickets in March when due to certain visa problems, we decided against it. If that was not a blow, we also had to postpone the trip for 1 year. Just when we have started to plan for the trip and trying to finalize on a date, innumerous issues are cropping up. We were initially planning for March but we have just found out that Daughter’s Kindergarten registration is in mid-February and after that they have a host of activities lined up for the kids. I know they aren’t such a big deal but I want her to participate in all of them. You know the public education here is really good and I want her to avail all the opportunities that they are giving for a fun and easy transition. It is also a nice way for the kids to get to know their peers and kind of understand what is expected out of them.

We know that it is ok for us to miss these dates and get her registered later but believe me I am a stickler for dates and time. It just freaks me out if I miss things. I need to plan, organize and then execute. I know if we decide on going to India without these things sorted out, I will stress till the time we get back and get them resolved. Simple things like planning a menu for a dinner can get me stressed if I am not sure about the number of people or if they are vegetarian/non veg and that kind of things. I need to plan every minute detail and till the time everything is planned you’ll see me with a paper and a pen.

And like I was telling you the other day of all the things that are lined up for this year, other major thing is that we are getting into the construction phase of our home. So if we miss going to India in March/April, I’m not sure when the next best time to travel is. Hubby is asking me to prioritize but I can’t. I want to chalk up a plan which will let us go to India, be here for all the pre-kindergarten activities and be in time to do all the necessary arrangements for the move too. You think I am being unreasonable?? Probably I am, but I really don’t care. I want to have my cake and eat it too. Till then I will stress and make and remake plans cause that’s how I function.

Is Motherhood Over-hyped ?? – Day 9

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Do you think motherhood is over hyped ?? Especially in our nuclear family set up where the dads do so much or probably are equal contributors in the kids’ lives. You know I’m so sick of ladies with the mindset that just by being the mom makes us love the baby more and feel their pain and be much more selfless. This gets me seething with rage at times. These days the dads are so hands on. Gone are the days when the husbands returned from work to expect a well dressed and fed baby so that they could mumble some ‘kuchie koos’ and go back to their evening paper while drinking their tea. It doesn’t happen any more.

I remember we were living in Noida when we had Daughter. Us being from Calcutta didn’t have any family with us other than my mum at that time. I had a C-section delivery so was not able tend to Daughter right from the beginning other than feeding. That too, since I was having trouble breast feeding her we had to depend upon formula quite a bit which when hubby was at home took care of. I remember he was one of those dads who changed a dirty diaper and cleaned her with so much expertise and yet was so gentle with her. I would often watch thinking if I could be as good. See, this was the period when I couldn’t sit straight on bed and my mum was there so if he wanted to avoid it, he could just hand her over to my mum. But he took up parenting very seriously and wanted to be hands on from the very beginning.

Like I mentioned in one of my earlier post we had moved to the US around the time she was 7 months. So we were pretty much on our own from there on. Me being a stay-at-home-mom was left with the baby the whole day but once he returned he made sure he helped me in every possible way. And trust me I didn’t shy away from taking help. Here I have come across so many women who refuse their husband’s help and later bitch about it. Those are kind of double standards, don’t you think ??

Its not just me and hubby here but I’ve been fortunate enough to see many such dads who are so involved in their childrens’ lives. We have a friend here and they have two kids . Sometimes when we meet for the weekends believe me between hubby and him the kids’ are well taken care of. There have been times when hubby and he gave the kids their baths, fed them and and put them to bed while we girls’ went shopping. I think there are quite a few woman who underestimate their husbands or are not confident enough. When I talk to people back in India, so many of my relatives are taken aback when I tell them some of the things that hubby does. Their argument being since I stay at home I should be able to take care of the home single handedly. I can’t understand this logic, just because I stay at home doesn’t mean I want to slog always. I have my bad days, low days or days when I am being plain and simple lazy.

Another thing that irritates the hell out of me is with people who think that now that I’am a mommy all my inner desires are gone and if I think about having fun without Daughter thats selfish. Believe me, I love her with all my heart but sometimes I need a break. Living, breathing and always acting like a mommy doesn’t work for me. I need those breaks from time to time so that I am fresh and happy. I take my me- times very seriously. I function much better with them and that definitely helps me de stress . I think when I am happy thats when I am at my best. If thats being selfish then I am happy to be one.