Sleepy Me – Day 94

A pounding headache….. blurry vision…. sleep deprived…. no, I’m not sick !! We just had the most awesome, amazing time with friends. In the last 48 hours I’ve had probably 6 hours of sleep and 12 hours of traveling. So I really don’t blame my condition. But it’s been a fun weekend even though it was a short one. 

Now we are back in the comforts of our home and there’s nothing an early night will not take care of. So I’ll be off today to catch some much needed sleep.


Happy Times – Day 93

Happiness is waking up to a heartwarming hug from a 4 year old and hearing him say, “Aunty you guys came, I was waiting for you… I love you.” Aaww my heart melted into a heap of mush. How I love this boy !!

As you can guess we reached our friend’s house around 10:30 yesterday night. While their older daughter was awake and waiting, this little boy was asleep, so the moment he woke up today morning he came running to our room to see us. I just love these two kids like they were my own. Even though I was woken up just after 3 hours of sleep, but I couldn’t have been happier.

Ever since it’s been a loud morning with the three kids screaming and playing and singing. While us adults are talking and sipping coffee. These our some of the most precious moments and we look forward to these kinds of breaks every once in a while. Even though it’s going to be a hectic weekend but I know we’ll be happy and recharged with this little break from monotony. 

Parenting Googly – Day 91

I always thought it’s better to teach my Daughter by example than preach. Of course I have my moments when I go on and on about something which I know she barely listens but nevertheless it doesn’t stop me from giving a looong lecture. But in the end I always try to focus on doing things the right way knowing how closely she pays attention to details. 

She knows I’m trying to loose weight and I make no secret about it. I tell her when I cheat and she knows it when I’m being good. She knows when I’m high with enthusiasm and these days she also understands when I’m struggling. Now you might ask, what I’m trying to achieve by sharing my personal struggle with my 8 year old. To me this was a conscious decision. I deliberately share because I want her to be aware of a healthy lifestyle. Apart from sowing the seeds of regular exercise and healthy eating, I also want her to know it’s fine to have bad days but we need to move on and not give up. My mum thinks Daughter hardly understands all that I’m trying to explain but I differ in my opinion. I know she doesn’t understand the bigger picture that I’m desperately trying to show right now, to her she’s the boss of my schedule. She thinks she’s in charge. It gives her great joy to tell me no tv time if I’ve not exercised, etc. But I’m sure she’ll understand my perseverance very soon. She’ll appreciate hard work when she sees her parents working hard no matter what the cause.

The other thing that I’ve consciously tried to practice is dealing with my stress in a better way. Some time back, I felt I was always on edge and yelling a lot. I lost my patience at the drop of a hat. That’s when I asked myself, what am I teaching her ?? That when you are having a bad day, yell and that’ll solve the problem. If you are stressed then yell and the others should bear it because you are having a bad day. Is that how I want a little child to think. Do I need her to study my expression and first judge whether I’m having a bad day before coming to me for any help/talk. NO !! No screamed all over my head. That’s when I tried working on my patience and letting a lot of baggage go. And it helped me as a person and definitely as a mum. 

I’m known for speaking my mind. God help you if you ever mess with my loved ones. I always stood up for my loved ones. It gave me a lot of happiness when I see her standing up for friends or when she sees something wrong. 

So I was really focusing on doing things that I thought were right so that inadvertently she would be steered in the right direction. Atleast that’s what I was hoping for. I was happy with myself because even though the reason of trying to change was to be a better mum but I was really enjoying a much more lighter, carefree, happy me. So to me it was a win win situation.

Yesterday night when I was tucking her in bed, she was talking to me about a random incident in school. I was getting her clothes ready for the morning and kind of had half an ear to her story. Suddenly I heard something’s that I didn’t like which made me keep the other tasks at hand and totally focus on what she was telling me.

Her story went somewhat to the effect that a classmate was a little mean to her and she chose to ignore it because if she said something back then that would hurt the classmate. I was taken aback. Of course you should be considerate to other people’s feelings but not by being hurt yourself. That’s exactly what I told her. Next what she said will have me thinking for a very long time. She told me with a very serious face, “But mommy that’s what you always do. You never show when you are hurt. You just smile but I know you also feel sad.” I honestly didn’t know how to react. I blinked and gulped but no words came out. This gave her further opportunity to elaborate on the point she was trying to make. I was dumbfounded by her sensitivity. Of course I quickly regained my composure and tried being honest. I admitted that yes I have trouble speaking up for myself but I’m getting better. While she had one example of her witnessing something that was directed towards me and I didn’t say anything, I told her little incidents where I did speak up for myself.

 She’s still little and that made her happy. She understood it’s important to speak up for oneself and that’s not selfish or mean. We should never accept disrespect or bad behavior from others. Atleast for now she got the message.

While one part of me was happy after getting first hand proof that kids do watch and learn but there was a part of me which also made me realize once again, parenting is a tough job. While I congratulated myself that she’s definitely picking up traits that we display but it also made me realize that I’m being watched. Every step of the way. It just made me realize how transparent I’m to my 8 year old and I better watch my ways. 

Just a little change- Day 90

It’s definitely a good feeling when you are able to keep your emotions in check. Of course when I was actually trying to bite my tongue and do a mental countdown to keep my anger/frustrations at bay, I didn’t feel the goodness. Now that I look back on the events of morning I want to pat my back. Sometimes it’s best to let it slide and ignore. Sometimes we need to look at the bigger picture and let it pass. Sometimes it’s so not worth it. And of course sometimes we just need to realize from whom it’s coming from and whether they deserve a little more understanding from us.

While I’m not advocating taking shit from anybody/everybody but it’s alright if we can keep our mouths shut sometimes especially if it’s no big deal. Atleast that’s definitely what I’m working on for my sanity. For me if I open my mouth I’m not able to choose my words and that often leads to hurt feelings and my overreacting and saying things that I don’t mean. Of course when I look back I get into this guilt space and often find I excuse the other person (even if he/she deserved my wrath) and blame myself for the argument. And all because I was the person yelling and not thinking before speaking. That as we all know isn’t very pleasant.

So today as I sit thinking about my morning I’m impressed at how I handled somethings. I let my patience win over my normal impatient self. For once I tried to let a remark pass just because I didn’t care. I no longer need to prove anything to anyone. I no longer need to win every argument to prove my point. Sometimes silence wins over bigger battles. And I definitely love this little change in me. Maybe as they say I’m mellowing down with age.

Happy Valentine’s Day – Day 89

Pic courtesy: Google 
Happiness is an unexpected little note. Happiness is still feeling the rush of emotions and weak kneed reaction to the slightest touch. Happiness isn’t about the gifts on special occasions but the little things that’s shared every day. Happiness isn’t about trips to exotic places but the regular trips together to the grocery stores and the-not-so-exotic places. Happiness isn’t just sharing the good but it’s the promise to share the good, bad and the ugly. Happiness is knowing that we’re in this together. Happiness is knowing you have your back covered. Happiness is to be loved not just today but every single day. Happiness is having that one hand to hold for a lifetime of happiness. 
Wishing you all happiness not just today but everyday single day. Happy Valentine’s Day ❤❤.

Happiness in being happy – Day 88

Some days I’m happy but somehow when I sit to write and share my daily dose of happiness it’s difficult to pen it down. I’ve been trying to think what do I attribute my today’s happy to but I can’t pin point any single incident. It’s been a rather typical Monday and who ever has anything good to write about a Monday that’s not even a holiday. Yeah, not me either!! But I can’t say I’m upset either. Because the day has been kind of ok-ish. Like I said typical random stuff a Monday entails. So no surprises and no disappointments.

By now you must have guessed I really don’t have anything to write about. So hence this blabbering 😜. But what can I do, I can’t give up after coming this close. The more I’m inching closer the more difficult it’s getting. I’m kind of hitting that freeze where the mind absolutely refuses to cooperate. 

So for today let me spare you guys as well as myself from this errr ramblings and just say that today’s happiness has no reason. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. No one was extra nice. Infact most of my day was spent reading but still I feel happy. You know not the burst of happiness kind of happy but just a calm and content happiness. A place where you genuinely think every cloud has a silver lining. So while I go and count my blessings, you guys think happy thoughts too.

Study Time – Day 87

Happiness is seeing my 8 year old do her studies without being told to do. We woke up later than usual and finished our breakfast; talked to both our homes. Then I was cleaning the kitchen and Daughter came to me asking to tie her hair. By the time I was done with the kitchen cleaning, I saw her focused with some math problems. That was the best sight. For once I feel all those times of forcing her to sit and study and those times of her thinking I’m being mean is finally worth it. Atlast these things show me that after all the drama a positive habit has taken shape. And Im really thankful for that.

As I type I hear hubby and Daughter trying to work with some algebra problems. Yes in case you are wondering she has figured hubby is the more patient one when dealing with maths and every Sunday they sit for a math session. My job is to take care of the weekly homework and study times. My job is to nag and make sure everything is done. My job is to see she practices the new concepts she works with hubby on Sundays. 

While I know all days won’t be perfect and there will be times I will still need to drag her to the study table, we need to take those as bitter pills and swallow them. We need to put in the hard work now to enjoy the perks later. And I’m sure there will be more days like these as she grows up !!