Category Archives: me

Thursday – A Day for good bye

•The house is sold.

•The movers come in tomorrow morning to pack and the truck leaves by Wednesday night. After Wednesday our home will become a house till the new owners make it their own with fingerprints and spills, with laughter and tears.

•Thursday we close on our beautiful home and hand the keys over to the new owner.

•Thursday is also Daughter’s last day of school. A place where the walls hold precious memories of friendships and secret games. A place where once she dons the blue T-shirt, feelings of solidarity and pride reign supreme. Another goodbye to a place that was her second home.

•As I type this post I just realized that we had also closed on our home on a Thursday and we also hand over on a Thursday. It’s more or less the same legal jargon that we’ll sign on, except the emotions will be very different.

•Thursday is also going to be the day we drive off to a new beginning. It’s going to be one long emotional day for all of us.

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A Little Lonesome

Conjoined at the hip for the last 17 years !! Yes that’s how the hubby and I are described. We have almost always been together. Luckily his last job didn’t require a lot of travel. And to top it off he’s been working from home a lot these past two years. So everything was perfect in our small world. While I heard a lot of complaints from friends whose husbands work from home, I loved it. Yes there were moments when I needed the space but all in all the arrangement worked great for us.

Even though he was always at his desk in his office, I would sit by on the chaise next to him and drink coffee without really talking. There were moments when I could just go and hug him. So when he landed his dream job, we knew things would not be the same. Actually saying ‘not be the same’ is underrating it…. let’s say things would change drastically!!

From early on we had decided that he would move first because we didn’t want Daughter to move in the middle of the year. And I also wanted to sell this house before we made the final move in summer. While planning about the stuff and taking the responsibilities I was all for it, but living it is a different ball game all together.

It’s just been 5 days since he’s left and Daughter and I are also visiting him next week but I still feel like it’s been an eternity. I miss him constantly and I’ve been dreading the weekend. The only good part is that Daughter will be home. The next two months are going to be extremely difficult.

Tomorrow I’ve planned on taking Daughter out to the mall. I’ll spend some time spoiling her with some shopping. She loves Justice and Claire’s. So that’s where we will be heading. And then we’ll go to lunch. Because this not-so-little Daddy’s Princess is not used to being without her daddy either. And I must say she’s being a trooper. It’s amazing how much responsible she’s become just because she knows that I’m by myself. I couldn’t be more proud!!

So on that happy note I’ll sign off. Hope you guys have a good weekend!!

Musings of My Mind

Finally the day is here!! The ‘For Sale’ sign is up on our front yard. AND I HATE IT !!!! It’s been a really emotional day for me. I knew it was going to be tough but I had no idea how much. I’m going through so many mixed emotions right now. I’m praying that the house sells fast yet I hate looking at the sign.

I’m excited for the hubby!! He has landed himself his dream job. I know he truly deserves it and I’m so proud of him. I also know this move is going to be good for our family. And it’s something we talked about for a long time. Yet today I feel I’m not ready. Deep down I feel kind of sad. I don’t know when it started but in these last 9 years this place has become Home. This is the place Daughter grew up. This place has so many ‘firsts’. After our hometown Kolkata, this is the place we’ve lived for so long. Familiar faces are everywhere – the stores, the mall, the school, the library, the post office, the restaurants that we frequent.

But I guess change is the new way of life nowadays. And we’re heading for some big ones. I’m sure the new place will grow on us as well and soon this laid back life of a small town will be a distant fond memory. Till then wish us luck as we transition to a new chapter!!

Home Sweet Home

Laying wide eyed in my bed I think of the first night we slept in this house. It was a Friday night and the hubby and I were super tired after a day full of shifting and running around. The Daughter was as usual chatting nineteen to a dozen sandwiched in between us. The guest bedroom bed was the only one we were able to assemble that day and we slept in that room the first night. The windows didn’t have any blinds and it was pure bliss to look out and see the clear blue sky dotted with innumerable twinkling stars. It was definitely one of the most magical nights of our lives. Sleeping in our own home that first night was a beautiful feeling. So many emotions mixed with the feeling of happiness made a magical concoction.

That was almost 3.5 years ago. Ever since we’ve made so many memories here. We’ve celebrated birthdays, hosted parties, had friends and family over, fought, cried, yelled and loved. If the walls could talk I’m sure they would tell you so many stories of our lives. We were blessed to call this Home our own.

So today as I was cleaning the house, scrubbing the floor, dusting every nook and cranny I felt so sad. This time cleaning was not being done for visiting guests neither was it a regular day of cleaning. This was different!! This time I’m cleaning for the real estate agents to come and look at our house. As I vigorously tidy up and try to brush off the feeling of sadness that’s creeping in me, I look at the wall where there are small pencil marks marking Daughter’s height at various points. I know those marks needs to go. I look at her purple room, a room that’s her sanctuary. The walls that she helped paint. While helping us paint her own room is one of Daughter’s most proud accomplishments, I’m sure the real estate agent will have a lot to say about our painting job.

It’s so strange that every spot, every mark every stain that others might see as imperfections I call them a memory.

Cheers to All – Day 31

Finally we are at the end of this month long blog reunion. As always it’s fun, it’s stressful but together we survived !! Thanks Ani for hosting it this year. I’m glad most of you are doing the 100 days, and that means I get to read but don’t have the stress of writing.

Thanks to all of you who’ve been reading me and commenting. It definitely helps when we communicate. So a big shout out to all of us for completing/participating in this annual tradition. This is my 5th blogathon and in all honesty January wouldn’t feel the same without this event. So keep reading and keep writing!! Talk to you all soon.

#Blogathon2018

Nothing Really – Day 30

It’s Jan 30th, which means another day till blogathon ends and I have no fodder. Absolutely nothing!! Not that I had a lot the other days but today the mind and the fingers are not communicating at all. One refuses to talk and the other won’t move. What do I do ?? I can’t give up, coming this close to the finish line.

But don’t you worry, I won’t bore you to death either. So I’ll leave you guys with a quote that I’m trying to live by. ‘Trying’ mind you is the key word …. I didn’t say I’ve implemented in my life. But I’m trying!! Hopefully some day I’ll push myself hard enough till then I’ll be happy with just trying.

#Blogathon2018

Considerate – Day 28

Daughter amazes me at the most unexpected times. So yesterday a lot of you probably read about our fight. She had a party in the evening and I was miserable at home. The hubby had talked some sense in me and I was waiting for her to return so that we could make peace. The hubby went to pick her up in due time and I waited patiently rehearsing my lines. I knew I had crossed a few mommy lines and I was looking forward to make amends.

Soon I heard the garage door open and hubby’s car whizzed in. I could hear her cheerful banter telling the hubby all about the party. Then they entered and she peeked in to have a glimpse of me. The moment she saw me, she gave me a big smile. That was enough to melt my heart. Next few minutes we apologized to each other and cleared the air. Everything was perfect in my little world again.

Then the hubby looked at me and said, “she’s super hungry. Why don’t you ask her why she didn’t eat anything?” I could have died at that moment. I automatically thought she was upset because of our fight and didn’t eat. I think in this split second the hubby could see the wheels of my brain turning. He quickly looked at Daughter and said, “tell mommy”. Daughter looked at me and said, “Soph and Issy are allergic to gluten and dairy. So they couldn’t eat anything and there was just pizza and cupcakes. They were sad and I felt bad for them, I decided not to eat so that they wouldn’t feel like they were the only ones who couldn’t eat. I told them I wasn’t hungry and they were so relieved that I could sit with them.” [Now if you’re wondering, Soph and Issy are two sisters and they stay in our neighborhood. Now I have no clue why some gluten and dairy free snacks were not provided since all of us know of their allergies but that’s a post for a different day.]

I looked at hubby and I could see the pride in his eyes. At that moment I also knew we must be doing somethings right. When I was 9 I don’t think I would have given up my favorite foods. But I was so proud of her for being so considerate. I just hope she continues being her kind and considerate self. Rest we’ll deal with one thing at a time.

#Blogathon2018

Miserable – Day 27

Miserable!! That’s exactly how I feel right now. The Daughter and I’ve been fighting on a loop since morning. This girl is growing up too fast for my liking and I’m probably not handling it good. I’m pushing all the wrong buttons and playing out the ‘mom card’ too much for my own good. I hate it and I know she hates me for it.

She’s currently at a bday party and hubby talked to me on dealing with theses things differently. No wonder he’s Daughter’s go to person. That’s another thing that’s bugging me… since when did I become her enemy?? So much so that today before leaving for the bday party she didn’t tell me bye and also made her own hair. After they left, I cried for a long time. When did she grow up so much ?? I don’t think I’m ready yet !!

#Blogathon2018

Nice Day – Day 26

Today the hubby and I had a lot of running around to do. So we started our day with dropping the Daughter to school and going out for coffee. It’s a newly opened cafe. We shared a blueberry muffin and a cinnamon scone between both of us. Then we ran our errands and took care of all the stuff that needed attention. We had originally planned to have lunch out but then decided against it. So came back and ate some leftover.

Afternoon hubby and I spent some quality time together without Daughter. It felt good to have him all to myself after a long time. Even though we spent the day taking care of some work, but it felt good to do it together. I always feel a sense of security and comfort when I hold his hand. It’s going to be 17 years of marital bliss in a couple of months but he still gives me the butterflies.

We went to the mall for a little bit once Daughter came home from school. Now we’ve ordered some Chinese and are planning to do what we do most weekends. If you guys have been reading me for a while, you’ll know what it is !! Cmon guess….. scroll down for the answer!!

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You give up…. its family board game/card game/uno time …. so if you have any of those answers you are right 🍫🎁🏆

#Blogathon2018

Happiness is … – Day 24

  • Feeding the Daughter after ages….
  • Logging in to Daughter’s school portal and saw some beautiful comments from teachers about her…
  • Talking to hubby about important stuff and getting the feeling of having each other’s back….
  • Looking at my two love bugs and knowing that I did something right…
  • Talking to my mum and having a heart to heart conversation…
  • Accidentally finding out that Daughter is making a secret coupon booklet for me….
  • My bus stop buddy getting off her car and coming to me to say she misses talking to me and can’t wait for the weather to get better so that we can chat waiting for the bus and not be cooped up in the car….
  • Sweating in the gym after what seems like ‘god knows how long’….
  • In being grateful….
  • In seeing a bright light at the end of a tunnel….

#Blogathon2018