Monthly Archives: January 2014

We Did It – Day 31

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Last year around in June I started this blog and did about 8 posts. I was feeling pretty proud of myself and then I went into hibernation. There were lots of things going on and I had enough to write about yet I chose to be lazy quiet. And suddenly somehow six months passed and it seemed I was never coming back. Then one day while blog hopping I came across RM’s post about the upcoming Blogathon 2014 initiated by Maya. That’s when I decided to jump on the band wagon. I knew it would be difficult for a newbie like me with no saved drafts. I took up the challenge to get back to writing, since I knew once I was in my ego would not let me quit.

I must confess its been a pleasant journey. I came across lots of new blogs and that’s one of the best part. The other good part is the sense of achievement I feel. I used to read these blogathons before and often wondered how people did it. I can now claim to have done it myself successfully along with so many of you.

The other thing is that I noticed it’s not that difficult to write. Because unlike some other months this was not a very happening month for me in fact to the contrary it was quite a drag. But somehow I managed albeit with some crappy posts. Writing up crappy posts is an achievement too, don’t you think?? You know I always thought I could write only when thoughts come from within. I still agree to it but now only partially. I found out that even though I had a lot to write about last year but somehow those thoughts never saw the light of the day. Yet when I forced myself I was able to record little things that would otherwise go undocumented.

This post would be incomplete without saying ‘THANK YOU’ to all those who read and took time to comment on the posts. The response definitely helps in being motivated. Another set of support system are my Daughter and hubby. Daughter has at least reminded me ten times a day if I am done with the post of the day or not. She has also sacrificed bedtime stories many a days. The hubby has helped in giving me ideas. Wow!!! This almost sounds like I have won a Filmfare Award and has been asked to give a speech 😀

Hope to be more regular from now on. See you guys around with more stories.

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Excited – Day 30

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At last all the plans are more or less falling into place. We have narrowed down on a date for our vacation to India. I know I was stressing about all the things that needed to be sorted out before the trip but after going forward and backward with our dates several times, made me realize I have to let go of somethings. So we have decided in a way that we will miss only one pre-kindergarten transition activity. Now that the decision is made I am at peace and so much relieved. I know there will be many more activities where she can participate after we get back.

You know as I type my mind is making a zillion lists. Lists of all the things that need to be done before we go to India, list of the things we need to carry with us for the travel, the list of gifts that need to be bought and of course the list that I need to give my mum, of the yummy stuff that I want to hog. Apart from these we need to chalk out a calendar with our schedule of when and where to meet whom. I am getting so restless.

Last time daughter was in India she was 2.5 years and now she is almost 5 and a half. This year I think she is going to have a blast with all the cousins and the extended family. Everybody is so eager to meet and pamper her. I can bet my life that both sides of the grand parents are waiting to make up for lost time in that one month. She is going to so love all the attention that is sure to come her way. And I can’t wait to see my baby being showered with all that love.

Of course not just Daughter, hubby and I too will be pampered to no end. You know what makes me happy the most?? The thought that for one whole month I don’t have to do anything. Just eat, chat, shop and eat some more. I am already planning what we’ll eat for dinner the day we land.

Did I smell something burning 😀 ?? Oh come on don’t be jealous. Will go home and meet family after three long years…..So now off I go to make some more lists.

Conversations 2 – Day 29

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I am having a splitting headache and daughter is sitting next to me playing:

Me: Can you please give mommy a head massage, sweetie?

Daughter: Sorry mama I am out of service.

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Hubby and I are in bed and I am playing candy crush:

Hubby: My back is very dry, can you apply some lotion?

Me: Hold on, let the life end.

Hubby: Whose life, mine??

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Untitled – Day 28

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Few days back we were at the mall, window shopping. That day was such a shopping disaster. No matter which store we went nothing really called out to us. Other days, we go to the mall for a quick something and end up shopping like there is no tomorrow but that day, it seemed that the God’s were keeping a close eye on our pocket.

Generally this time of the year there are huge sales going on giving away winter clearance but that day we weren’t in for any luck. Most of the stuffs we saw we didn’t like. We wanted to buy some clothes for Daughter and most of the time if we plan on buying one or two dresses, we end up buying five. But that particular day, we just didn’t like anything. In fact we  wanted to buy her a pair of tennis shoes but can you believe it either we didn’t like any and the ones we did didn’t have her size.

So pretty much disappointed with ourselves and the stores we realized that shopping was not to be and resigned to looking around after Daughter and I had a yummy chocolate gelato. Our spirits rose considerably after the heavenly sugary treat. Power packed with the needed energy the three of us were aimlessly wandering around when we spotted it. A beautiful pink polka-dotted ‘Mommy’ coffee mug. It had a beautiful saying, ‘When God made moms, he gave the best one to me!’. I loved it and the other two shopping enthusiasts (hubby and Daughter) readily wanted to buy me that. The price was reasonable and hubby knows that I love these kind of no-good-mushy things. So the two decided that I deserve that mug. Feeling really happy with their thoughtfulness I thanked them. In a few minutes they did a quick check out and gave me the precious mug.

With the bag dangling from my hands we decided to do more shopping thinking our luck has improved. Then we came to the center court of the mall and there was some live band playing. Daughter got excited and wanted to dance. She gave me her jacket, mittens, muffler to hold while she danced. She looked so beautiful, dancing happily that I wanted to record it. But my phone was in my ever-so-big purse. And I also had forgotten how clumsy I can get. Trying to fish out the phone while trying not to drop Daughter’s winter paraphernalia proved to be a herculean task. So difficult that something slipped from my clumsy butter fingers. I quickly picked it up only to hear a little clatter in the bag. It was then that I realized that I had broken my just-gifted-precious mug. I wanted to cry.

That my friends is how very clumsy I can get 😦

How Much Is Too Much – Day 27

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I have mentioned earlier that Daughter is an avid reader. While that is good on most occasions but sometimes it can get out of hand. Like if sometimes one of our books are lying around, she will pick that up and start reading. It is difficult to reason with her that she is not allowed all books. According to her since she can read, that itself should entitle her to read everything. Well after a lot of coaxing and explaining, we have finally got over that stage and now she knows that she is not allowed to read all books.

But the reading is creating a lot of other problems. If we are at a store the first thing she wants, is to go to the book section. If at a restaurant, she is more interested in the menu card than the food itself. We have been home the last few days due to bad weather and all she did was read, read and read. These days playing is taking a back seat to reading. People tell me I should be grateful and believe me I am, but sometimes I get a little annoyed when I see her nose buried in a book the whole day. The hubby and I both believe in physical exercise and outdoor activities for kids. While she loves going to the park, playing outdoor and running/jumping now, I am worried the love for reading is kind of overshadowing all other.

This is a girl, who can spend hours reading a dictionary or kids encyclopedia. While I love it and can’t help but feel proud when she uses big words like ‘procrastinating’ or tells me facts like ‘hair and nails are dead cells and that’s why we don’t feel pain cutting them’ but sometimes I worry she is growing up too fast. After all 5 year olds should be running around and not reading encyclopedia. Shouldn’t 5 year olds be having their own adventures rather than just reading adventure stories?? Tell me am I over reacting or is it normal??

Patriotic Or Not – Day 26

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Happy Republic Day to all of you out there. So what did you guys do, today?? Me, well we did nothing really. We are still snowed in. I think the three of us are pretty much getting on each others nerves by now. Wait!!! Did I just say I think?? Sorry correction I know we are getting on each others nerves being pretty much camped in at home for the last three days. This is one of the worst winters I have encountered here in the US. Anyway I don’t want to write about the bad winter, the news reports seem to be flooded with talks of how bad it is here. So much so that the other day my uncle mentioned that the vegetable vendor at the local market told him that Calcutta is also feeling the chills due to the snowstorms happening in America. 😀

Today lot of you have been writing about patriotism, and it felt pretty good reading it. But to be really honest I am not a very patriotic person so to speak. Of course I stand up without a nudge when the national anthem is played and never falter while writing my citizenship. I also love the patriotic songs and certain songs do send goose bumps but that’s how far my patriotism goes. After all I did choose to make my home in a foreign land. Unlike some people who say they will probably go back to India after they retire, I know that if I choose to stay now I am pretty much stuck for life. In 30 odd years I really don’t see myself leaving daughter here and returning to India no matter how well settled in life she is. At least thats how I feel right now.

While deciding whether we want to stay or go back, the hubby and I did a lot of thinking. We went back and forth on a lot of things. Of course we wanted to go back and stay where the family was. Of course we wanted Daughter to be one of the crowd and not stand out. Of course we wanted Daughter to feel her roots and see and explore India. But at the same time we wanted her to grow up where there was no gender discrimination. Where there is more humanity. A place where she can go about safely without us fretting till the time she is back. The recent incidents in India had us boiling with rage but we or at least I know am not strong enough to stand up to. If another woman is being teased I am sorry but I am not brave enough to let my hubby go and fight for her. You call me selfish. Yes!! I know I am being one but sadly I am not brave enough, cause to save one I am not sure if I am willing to sacrifice my loved ones.

The other thing that we almost always talked about is the road rage or the gathering of a mob in case of an accident. That really frightened us. I am not saying things like that don’t happen here but it’s a one off stray case. If people get into an accident here there are set rules that they follow without going berserk. In India a mob gathers in no time and without verifying who is at fault start to destroy the vehicles in question. You know I am not brave or strong enough to stand up to these things. I may crib or cry but can’t do anything to stop it. Because even though the mob comprises of fellow Indians yet they are people who are alien to me. I can’t relate to the way they think.

So to me we chose an easy way out. We chose not to go back because among many things safety is ranked pretty high especially now that we are raising Daughter.  But even though I don’t think myself as a patriotic person but I seethe in rage each time somebody does something stupid that brings down the name of Indian community as a whole. Having lived away from home a major part of my adult life, I had the misfortune to meet a lot of people who are such a disgrace at name of Indian.

It is because of some lazy people who have no regard for time that sometimes people think Indians are always late. It irritates me big time when people jokingly say it’s ok to be late. When people come an hour late and don’t think it’s necessary to apologize.

When people break rules/laws and think its ok just because they are Indians. Once we had the misfortune to see an Indian guy peeing just behind some grassy area in a beach when there was a restroom close by. It was so mortifying to say the least when a bunch of Americans looked at us with such disgust.

When Indian women go about the apartment complex in their nightwear. I have seen them checking mails, dropping off/picking up kids from the bus stop, or sometimes even going for a walk. These women feel just because they have a two-piece night suit on, no one realizes what they are wearing.

It saddens me to no end when people do these kind of things. They fail to realize a passerby who witnesses these kind of things don’t know their name. They just generalize and say an ‘Indian’. As I said, I am not patriotic but I don’t bring the name of my nation down either. I love my country even though I can’t always understand or relate to the people there.

Counting My Blessings:1 – Day 25

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I have often appreciated Little Fingers on her ‘Things I am happy about’ weekly series. It’s a lovely way of counting ones blessings and being grateful for the little things that we take for granted. After all it is these little things that make life worth living. Big things don’t happen to your life on a daily basis and I have found that the memories of the little things often last for a longer time. So thank you Little Fingers for this wonderful idea. I hope to make a series as well.

I am really thankful that these days Daughter does her activity book without any fuss. I have found out she really loves to learn and is a fast learner. Our schedule is like she gets home around 12:45 in the afternoon and after that she watches TV from 1 to 2 while having her lunch. After the TV is done, generally she plays, reads books or does whatever she pretty much feels like. It is during the afternoon hours that both of us snack on fruits or nuts. Every day sharp at 4 we sit together and do some activities aka studies. Initially 4 o’clock would have me calling her met with a refusal or fuss. I would stick to my ground and coax her into doing these daily activity pages. But as they say its history now. These days she gets her activity books ready by 3:45 and asks me what pages I want her to do. I consider this a huge blessing, perhaps the biggest. Doing things with a positive and happy mind helps her learn faster. She has also figured out the importance of practice. What more do I want from a 5-year-old. While still on the subject of Daughter, the other thing I am grateful for is that her fruit intake is getting better. While I know it is nowhere near perfect, but at least it is better than before.

Today morning I woke up with a splitting headache. The kind of headache that spreads in the neck and shoulder. I went about doing my daily chores with a grumpy face. Yes I know, lovely way for a Saturday morning that too when you are snowed in. I pity hubby and Daughter as they had to deal with me. Both of them tried to cheer me and entertained me in various ways but to no avail. I continued being grumpy. At last in the afternoon I decided to take a nap in the hopes that the headache would abandon me for good. I was woken up to a steaming cup of green tea by hubby and Daughter after a couple of hours of undisturbed sleep. While I slept peacefully hubby made fresh orange juice for Daughter. He took care of all the pending kitchen work. He made her do her activity book. I woke up with the headache gone and a surprisingly cheerful self. Isn’t he the sweetest??

It feels like a peaceful evening with Daughter watching a Disney movie and hubby sitting with his iPad and me typing away to glory. In a couple of hours Daughter will be tucked in bed and hubby and I can spend some undisturbed quality time together. Bliss. This morning I couldn’t bear the sight of snow and now a blizzard is raging outside and I am loving it. The snow is looking beautiful. Everything so pristine and white. Not a soul in sight. It almost looks like a scene from a poster. Everything still and quiet. Feeling blessed with the two loves of my life. Right now, can’t ask for anything more.

snowed in
snowed in

What Do You Do – Day 24

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When you can’t think of anything to write about……

When you sit in front of the computer and your fingers refuse to play with the keys……

When all you want to do is sleep and your stubborn mind tells you to churn up a post as this is your life’s first blogathon and you don’t want to quit, not yet anyway…….

When you are too tired to even think……

When you are feeling too crappy and just want to go to bed…..

When you are irritated, disappointed and mad at the hubby; while the hubby oblivious to your state of mind sits and plays some shitty games in his phone……

When you are getting so irritated at his indifference, that you are secretly planning on not giving him any of the yummy dinner you have cooked……..

When you know you will be snowed in for a good part of the weekend and that’s not helping your mood either……..

When you know you are writing an utterly crappy post yet somehow it is being strangely therapeutic……..

When you know this therapy is going to cost you what little followers you have……..

I think that’s my cue to leave today. Will be back with something better tomorrow. What, you don’t believe me?? Pinky Promise 😀

Tagged – Day 23

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This Get-To-Know-Me tag came right in time. Thank you Monkey Mind for tagging me. This is my first tagged post. So all of you out there will get a chance to know more about me whether you want it or not 😉 …….

1.       Are you named after anyone? Nope I am not named after anyone. But my name is way too common. Probably if you happen to meet five Bengali girls, I will probably share my name with at least one of them. All of my school and college life there was one other girl with my name. And I so hated it. 

 2.       When was the last time you cried? A few years back I could have given you this answer very easily because every so often I would cry. Be it a fight with hubby or parents. Be it some altercation with the in-laws. Be it some odd misunderstanding and it would have tears rolling down my cheeks. But not so much now, as they say I have hardened. I still get hurt but don’t cry as easily. So the last time I really cried would be in July because I was fortunate enough to come face to face with a JERK. Thank God I saved my dignity and didn’t cry in front of him.

3.       Do you have kids? Yes I do. I have a beautiful 5-year-old daughter.

 4.       If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself? Oh yes!!! I would have held myself and never let me go. But on a serious note I think I would because as most of my friends would tell you I am not that bad after all. At least I would hope they say that.

 5.       Do you use sarcasm a lot?  Well yesterday I asked my hubby this question and he said I don’t. So does it mean I really don’t use sarcasm or does it mean he really doesn’t get it?? For instance, when I ask him “honey, can you take the trash out today, please?” He answers back saying, “You can do it tomorrow, can’t you?” To that I say, “Sure I will, anyway I don’t have anything better to do.”

 6.       Will you ever bungee-jump? Now out of all activities, why would anyone want to know whether I will bungee-jump or not……But now that you ask me, well I really don’t think I would because unlike some of you I am not a very jumping kind of person.

7.       What’s your favorite cereal? I don’t like cereals. But these days with trying to be healthy and all that, I eat Kellogg’s Special K Original.

8.        What’s the first thing you notice about people?  These days I notice whether they have kids or not and if they do how old are the kids 😀 ….

 9.       What is your eye color?  Black.

 10.   Scary movie or happy endings? I love happy endings. Scary movies are not for me. I hate watching a movie clutching a pillow over my face.

11.   Favorite smells? I love the smell of rain. I love the smell of my Daughter. I love good perfumes my favorite being ‘NUDE’. I particularly like one of hubby’s perfume because no matter what I am doing that smell takes me back to our newly married days. I love when my house smells of sandalwood incense sticks early in the morning. And how can I forget, I love stepping in a bakery and inhaling the aroma of freshly baked goodies.

 12.   Summer or winter? Growing up in India always had me craving for winter. It was the time for fairs and picnics. But after living in the US for almost a decade, I love summer. I have started to loathe winter with its bare trees and gloomy grey skies. Summer is a season we really enjoy with a lot of activities and outdoor fun.

 13.   Computer or television?  I am not a television person at all. What little I do watch can be done in my computer but television won’t do any of the things that my beloved computer can do. So I am definitely a computer person.

14.   What’s the furthest you’ve ever been from home? When I got married and came to the US right after my marriage I still associated home with my parent’s house. So that was the furthest from home. And now having made a home away from home, each time I go to India I am away from my home. So basically the distance between India and US is the furthest I have been away from home either way.

15.   Do you have any special talents? Does cooking count?? No, not the daily dal-chawal…..but cooking these daily food day-in day-out should also be considered as a talent, no??

16.   Where were you born? In a nursing home in Calcutta. Sorry no exciting stories there.

17.   What are your hobbies?  Day dreaming, surfing the net, listening to music, playing candy crush…..

18.   Do you have any pets? Nope, not really a pet friendly person. Tried to keep a goldfish but killed it by overfeeding it. What?? How am I supposed to know it can’t handle a little extra food?

19.   Favorite movie? Please give me a break!!!! I have been watching movies for 20+ years, how do you expect me to answer?? But anyway I love watching Aamir Khan Movies…..and one of my all-time favorite movie is You’ve Got Mail.

 20.   Do you have any siblings? No….it’s just me.

21.   What do you want to be when you grow up? Do you still think I need to grow up and be something? It’s been a while someone asked me this question. And this is something that I often ask my Daughter and get a variety of answers from doctor to teacher to ballerina to a princess.

Yay!!! Done!! 🙂

Rant – Day 22

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I’m so stressed today. Going to India is becoming like a mirage. Last year we were almost going to book our tickets in March when due to certain visa problems, we decided against it. If that was not a blow, we also had to postpone the trip for 1 year. Just when we have started to plan for the trip and trying to finalize on a date, innumerous issues are cropping up. We were initially planning for March but we have just found out that Daughter’s Kindergarten registration is in mid-February and after that they have a host of activities lined up for the kids. I know they aren’t such a big deal but I want her to participate in all of them. You know the public education here is really good and I want her to avail all the opportunities that they are giving for a fun and easy transition. It is also a nice way for the kids to get to know their peers and kind of understand what is expected out of them.

We know that it is ok for us to miss these dates and get her registered later but believe me I am a stickler for dates and time. It just freaks me out if I miss things. I need to plan, organize and then execute. I know if we decide on going to India without these things sorted out, I will stress till the time we get back and get them resolved. Simple things like planning a menu for a dinner can get me stressed if I am not sure about the number of people or if they are vegetarian/non veg and that kind of things. I need to plan every minute detail and till the time everything is planned you’ll see me with a paper and a pen.

And like I was telling you the other day of all the things that are lined up for this year, other major thing is that we are getting into the construction phase of our home. So if we miss going to India in March/April, I’m not sure when the next best time to travel is. Hubby is asking me to prioritize but I can’t. I want to chalk up a plan which will let us go to India, be here for all the pre-kindergarten activities and be in time to do all the necessary arrangements for the move too. You think I am being unreasonable?? Probably I am, but I really don’t care. I want to have my cake and eat it too. Till then I will stress and make and remake plans cause that’s how I function.